Kirby, you old chicken stomper,
Have a "Happy Birthday" day.
Kick up your heels, spin your wheels,
Turn every which way, but gay!

Put on your cleanest dirty shirt,
Order champagne, steak and crab,
Take a puff of some fancy stuff,
Hand good old Arch the tab.

Be a can-of-worms on the dance floor,
Raise hell, the roof and Cain,
Go back to the shack, jump in the Sack,
Play "Me Tarzan... You Jane."

Get up with the sun in the morning
May your regrets and pains be few
It could be rough but we know you're tough,
You ancient old cowboy, you!

(Sandy Grunow, 16 March 1991)